World Cup 2022 men's schedule (for my pal Al)

I went inside the numbers here -- somewhat for my own post-jaded personal jollies as I have genuinely come to enjoy #QualitativeAmerican21stCenturyBlatantAssholery like busting out a banner that says QUALIFIED when you have not yet and then getting that ass beat for, like, the 11th straight time in Costafucking Rica.

But mostly this is for Al.

So go ahead and set that VCR for 5 am the Monday of Thanksgiving week, big fella, and by all means start strokin' ...

WORLD CUP 2022 (draw held 4.1.22)
Groups (8 groups, 32 teams)
Group A: Qatar, 46 Ecuador, 20 Senegal, 10 Netherlands (see profile photo)
Group B: 5 England, 21 Iran (Flock of Seagulls version), 15 USA, 39 Scotland/27 Ukraine (God bless 'em) or 18 Wales (correct spellers of SHAWN)
Group C: 4 Argentina, 49 Saudi Arabia, 9 Mexico, 26 Poland (Krzyzewski version)
Group D: 3 France, 42 Australia/UAE or 22 Peru (Better Off Dead "for dessert" version), 11 Denmark, 35 Tunisia
Group E: 7 Spain, 31 Costa Rica (visiting USA tormenters version) or New Zealand, 12 Germany, 23 Japan
Group F: 2 Belgium (fries vs waffles version), 38 Canada (RIP, Neil Peart), 24 Morocco (Zeppelin roaming the desert version), 16 Croatia
Group G: 1 Brazil (shaved vs Bolsonaro FUCKING ASS CLOWN version), 25 Serbia, 14 Switzerland, 37 Cameroon
Group H: 8 Portugal (SHH, Gene Loves Jezebel is fuckin' YUGE there), Ghana, 13 Uruguay, 29 South Korea
(Failed to qualify from FIFA Top 50: 6 Italy (North Macedonia teabagged version), 17 Columbia (who's gonna supply the blow now?!?), 19 Sweden, 28 Chile, 30 Nigeria, 32 Egypt, 33 Czech Republic, 34 Austria (Franz Klammer version), 36 Fuck Russia, 40 Hungary, 41 Norway, 43 Turkey, 44 Algeria, 45 Slovakia, 47 Ireland, 48 Romania, 50 Paraguay)

Group stage schedule
Monday Nov. 21
5:00a Qatar vs. Ecuador
Senegal vs. Netherlands
England vs. Iran
USA vs. Wales/Scotland/Ukraine

Tuesday Nov. 22
Argentina vs. Saudi Arabia
Mexico vs. Poland
France vs. UAE/Australia/Peru
Denmark vs. Tunisia

Wednesday Nov. 23
Spain vs. Costa Rica/New Zealand
Germany vs. Japan
Belgium vs. Canada
Morocco vs. Croatia

Thursday Nov. 24
Brazil vs. Serbia
Switzerland vs. Cameroon
Portugal vs. Ghana
Uruguay vs. South Korea

Friday Nov. 25
Qatar vs. Senegal
Netherlands vs. Ecuador
England vs. USA
Wales/Scotland/Ukraine vs. Iran

Saturday Nov. 26
Argentina vs. Mexico
Poland vs. Saudi Arabia
France vs. Denmark
Tunisia vs. UAE/Australia/Peru

Sunday Nov. 27
Spain vs. Germany
Japan vs. Costa Rica/New Zealand
Belgium vs. Morocco
Croatia vs. Canada

Monday Nov. 28
Brazil vs. Switzerland
Cameroon vs. Serbia
Portugal vs. Uruguay
South Korea vs. Ghana

Tuesday Nov. 29
Netherlands vs. Qatar
Ecuador vs. Senegal
Wales/Scotland/Ukraine vs. England
Iran vs. USA

Wednesday Nov. 30
Poland vs. Argentina
Saudi Arabia vs. Mexico
Tunisia vs. France
UAE/Australia/Peru vs. Denmark

Thursday Dec. 1
Japan vs. Spain
Costa Rica/New Zealand vs. Germany
Croatia vs. Belgium
Canada vs. Morocco

Friday Dec. 2
Cameroon vs. Brazil
Serbia vs. Switzerland
South Korea vs. Portugal
Ghana vs. Uruguay

Round of 16
Saturday Dec. 3
Group A winners vs. Group B runners-up
Group C winners vs. Group D runners-up

Sunday Dec. 4
Group D winners vs. Group C runners-up
Group B winners vs. Group A runners-up

Monday Dec. 5
Group E winners vs. Group F runners-up
Group G winners vs. Group H runners-up

Tuesday Dec. 6
Group F winners vs. Group E runners-up
Group H winners vs. Group G runners-up

Quarterfinals
Friday Dec. 9
Quarterfinal 1
Quarterfinal 2

Saturday Dec. 10
Quarterfinal 3
Quarterfinal 4

Semifinals
Tuesday Dec. 13
Semifinal 1

Wednesday Dec. 14
Semifinal 2

Third Place/Final
Saturday Dec. 17
Semifinal 1 loser vs. Semifinal 2 loser

Saturday Dec. 18
Semifinal 1 winner vs. Semifinal 2 winner